Happiness Is A Habit
I remember the day that this realisation became my default belief regarding happiness.
It was 2015 and I was fed up with my life. I was miserable but at that point in my life I didn’t know I had the power to change it into whatever I wanted it to be.
I thought I was destined to carry on living an unfulfilled life because that was the world I had been born into.
Who was I to want more for myself? How could I ever expect more when no one else around me wanted more? They all seemed perfectly happy with their mediocre lives.
But then as I sat there in the quietness, a voice popped not my head. Maybe a better way to describe it is a thought. A thought popped into my head – ‘the happiness is already there, you need to start living it’
I don’t know what the thought was or where it came from but it had a clarity to it that I couldn’t ignore. I felt it with so much certainty that I had to listen to it and I knew that I had to act on it.
Answering The Call
At the time I didn’t know what this thought was or why it occurred, but now I realise it was my intuition speaking to me. However, I instinctively knew that what I had felt in that moment was the call to act. The invitation to make a change in my life instead of continuing on with something I was utterly unhappy in.
I knew I wasn’t happy with the way things were and for the first time I was considering that there was another option. How is it possible that we can get so far in our lives without even realising that we can choose how our lives turn out?
Now, it seems incredible to me that many people aren’t even aware of the power they hold as human beings. Yet, I spent forty years being painfully ignorant of the fact that I could make that decision and then build a plan to make it not only achievable, but a key component of my life.
By making happiness the goal and putting a plan of achievable steps in place, I was on my way to a better and more enjoyable life.
Becoming Clear
It sounds easy to make happiness the goal but I didn’t know how to do this or where to start. What does it mean to make happiness the goal?
Can we just decide to be happy and make it so? Can we become happy for no other reason than it is the goal we are aiming for? And, if we can, what are the steps we need to take in order to achieve this happiness?
When making a plan, the very first step we must take is to get some clarity. For a plan to work we must be absolutely clear about what we are doing, why we are doing it and why we want it.
The best way I’ve found to gain clarity is to write. Write everything down that’s in my head. Let it all come tumbling out in an incoherent stream of words into my notebook.
It doesn’t always make a lot of sense when I read it back but making this space in my mind never fails to help me get clear about what I want and how to go about achieving it. When the space has been made and the clarity has been found, it’s time to take action.
Taking Action
So, what are the action steps involved in making happiness a habit? I thought about this for a long time before I realised the key to becoming happy is simply to start being happy.
Do whatever you can to bring a little joy into your life. Even if it’s something as simple as putting a smile on your face or doing something nice for someone else.
I started including little things I enjoy and like to do, in my daily life. I liked to think of them as little acts of self care every day.
From taking the time to make myself filter coffee every morning before work, getting outside for a walk at lunchtime and meditating whenever I had a spare few minutes.
I used these small, easy habits to create pockets of time throughout the day that were solely for myself. To clear my mind and concentrate only on me and how I felt.
By incorporating these small rituals into my day, I began to feel a sense of joy and purpose. With this newfound energy, came the motivation to do more and be more.
As the happiness I had found in the little things life has to offer started becoming a natural part of me and my disposition, I felt the nudge to dream bigger. I knew if I could get this far, then I could achieve much more.
Becoming More
Once I had mastered the small daily habits that improved my quality of life and my general happiness, I was ready to move on to something bigger that would steer my life in the direction I wanted it to take.
I needed to start making some bold choices. If I was to become more, then I needed to set myself some bigger goals that would really challenge me to step out of my comfort zone and work toward things I hadn’t considered before.
I decided to revisit the clarity step. To dig deeper into what I actually wanted now I had proved to myself I could create new habits and stick to them consistently.
When I started to play with ideas of what my future could be like, my mind was flooded with visions of freedom, independence, financial security, making my own decisions, ideas, creativity, art and helping others.
As I imagined this future, the strongest emotions that were evident in all of these things was love and happiness. I imagined a future of being my own boss and being completely happy and at peace with myself and my life. Love and happiness were at the centre of all it.
If I was to achieve any of this at all, I had to find something that I was good at and made me truly happy. Once I knew what that was, my journey could really begin.
