Have you ever noticed how a lot of people tend to put other people and their needs before their own? The consensus seems to be that if you’re a good person and you care about others then you automatically put your own needs on the back burner. If you love someone you should make them the priority. Choosing yourself is not the done thing.
We’ve all done it. I know I have. But now I can see that this is fundamentally wrong. Although, lots of people will disagree with me, I’m sure. They may think that choosing yourself is a selfish thing to do. I’m here to tell you it’s not.
It’s better for everyone
We’re all so used to putting other people and their needs before our own. But when we do this, we are doing us and them a huge disservice. I know we’ve all had it drummed into us since childhood that we must think of others before ourselves. But why is it so wrong?
If we don’t accept that we must live our own lives and follow our own path and passion. Not only will we be miserable, but we also won’t be our best for the people we care about. This is a new way of thinking for most of us, so it will take some time and practice before it becomes a way of life.
The first step you must take if you are to start choosing yourself, is learning to listen to your internal voice and trust that it knows what is best for you. You must set strong boundaries and integrate new routines, so it becomes a way of life for you.
Practice is required
I won’t lie, it can be tough at first but once you start to trust yourself it will get easier. Trust takes time to build so it’s essential to start developing the relationship with your inner knowing as early as possible.
How do we do this?
It’s time to start taking notice of the messages your body sends you. Once you do this, you’ll learn to interpret the feelings, and this will help your strengthen your relationship with your own internal guidance system.
We all know if something feels incredibly right, or wrong for that matter. I want you to start cultivating this sense and using it during your day-to-day life. It will help you to navigate your life with a lot less stress and a lot more ease.
What would it be like if you could make any decision big or small without questioning or doubting yourself? Wouldn’t it feel good to have a feeling of certainty within yourself and knowing that you trust yourself the make the right choices.
Raise your standards
Start holding yourself to high standards. If your standards are already high, raise them even more. Hold yourself accountable every day. Push yourself to reach these new heights. When you start doing this with regularity as your daily minimum for yourself, you’ll build your trust in yourself to an unbreakable new level.
But to do this you need to start putting yourself first and choosing yourself is the best way to do this. If someone else is your top priority you won’t be able to devote the time you need to work on yourself and start reaching your new high standards. Because when you start reaching them consistently, that is when you’re able to show up as your best for others.
You’ll need to become self-reliant if you intend to follow through and set these strong boundaries for yourself. No one else can do this for you. Choosing yourself will change your life but it takes work. Learning to say no could become one of your most powerful tools.
Trust yourself
As you learn to trust yourself, you’ll start to feel more confident about what is for you and what isn’t. Start doing the things you enjoy, and the things you think you may enjoy. What activities make you happy and what brings you joy? Trust that the projects that really light you up are meant for you and do more of them.
You’ll learn new things and you’ll be working on your inner peace at the same time. Maintaining your mental health is crucial to your existence. The happier you are the more able you are to be there for the people you care about.
When you start choosing yourself, you want better for yourself, and you become better for all. But you need to get to the place where you’ve accepted you need to live for you, and you come first.
What can you do to start?
Start with small things every day.
When you wake up, say out loud “I choose me”. This will set your intention for the day.
Take time each day to do something for you just because you love it. It could be journaling, exercising, taking a bath, reading a book, listening to music or a podcast. Whatever brings you joy.
Meditate. The benefits of meditation are widely known and can help us connect with our inner self, reduce stress, and increase inner peace. If you don’t already have a meditation practice, consider starting one. There are lots of free meditations on YouTube. You can also get access to our free meditation on our free resources page. Click here to sign up.
Another way of choosing yourself is by working on your goals. When you work to create a better future for yourself, this is the best way you can choose you.
Final thoughts
Ultimately, you know what is best for you. What is right for you, even if you don’t realise it right now. Learn to trust yourself and listen to your inner desires. This is the best guidance you can get and it’s already there for you, waiting for you to start listening.
Learning to trust your inner guidance system is the biggest gift you can give yourself. It takes practice but you’ll get better every day if you learn to listen, trust, and act from that place. Even when you don’t know how it’ll turn out. Go ahead anyway. That’s where the trust comes in.
Remember, it’s not selfish to choose yourself. It’s the most important thing you can do for you and the people you love.
